I’M GONNA BE OKAY I’VE GOT PEOPLE WHO LOVE ME EVEN WHEN I DON’T REALLY DESERVE IT I’VE GOT THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO AND PEOPLE TO LOVE AND DOGS TO PET AND RAIN TO LISTEN TO AND I’M GONNA BE OKAY WE’RE GONNA BE OKAY
Definitely getting that “friend only when convenient” vibe again. So sue me if I don’t feed obsessions or have the same likes at certain. That doesn’t mean I want to be ignored, especially if I speak up first.
So tired. So done.
Next step is the toughest one, but I’m learning to protect myself first and others later.
I just want someone to tell me that I’m beautiful again.
Sometimes, there are things you need to hear from someone special. Some things that don’t get said nearly enough, or ever at all, and it would heal so much internal hurt to hear them said. But the words never come, and all you can do is sit and wait and hope and listen as hard as you can for the whisper that never comes. It’s hard to be happy when there’s so much hurt.
It’s killing me that I’m starting to doubt him… no… not him. Myself. I’m starting to doubt myself because I feel like I’m already to the point of “just not enough” for him. God, this is killing me…
Another… YOUNGER… friend of mine… is having child #2…
I don’t even have child #1.
Can I go cry now?
No one ever feels bad for letting ME down, but you can bet I’m the FIRST to know when I’ve fucked up.
Why do I fight love? Why do I make it so hard for myself to let someone in? I want to love and be loved, not run and hide when I finally find it.